Cairo, Egypt; May 29^th 1993

- Journal -

Richard's parents, his sister Sue, and his two brothers, Arthur and Peter, arrived in Cairo a week before the wedding. Five of Richard's friends and fraternity brothers from the States also flew in - Jay and Sam Byrne, John Toohey, and Howie Allen for the week, and Rainer Garger, for just the day(!) of the wedding.

Our group of groom's-folks devoted the week prior to the Great Day sightseeing together around the Giza monuments, touring Cairo, visiting museums, going shopping in the soukh, and being felled, some of us (only for a day or so) by the Pharaoh's Revenge. Richard's friends injected enormous fun into the occasion, coming up with a stream of such insightful comments as, on learning Butros means Peter in Arabic, that Butros Butros Golly's family name must obviously translate as Pumpkin Eater; and the realization that the pyramids are in fact not deflated every night.

The Egyptians proved to be, by in large, a bright and happy people. Smiles come readily and are seen everywhere. Peter, assuming his goofy persona, made a big hit joking with otherwise harassing street vendors. The Egypt Museum was a special treat, and we went there three days running. Due to a collapse in tourism (several foreigners having recently been shot), we had the museum almost entirely to ourselves, quite unlike normal times when dense crowds must be constantly pushed through the exhibit of the treasures of Tutankhamon.

Two of Richard's friends were attached to the government, and we were all able to watch our tax dollars at work as they got onto the phone to Washington to resolve a last-minute problem holding up Ishraq's US visa, which she needed if she was to accompany Richard on their honeymoon trip via the US to the Caribbean. A pile of political chips was cashed in to get to the right contacts in the White House, the State Department and several other agencies, ultimately producing a flurry of urgent messages from Washington to the US ambassador to Egypt, asking him to intervene personally to unsnarl the red tape. Which, happily, he did, and just in the nick of time.

Early in the week, the patriarch of Ishraq's family, one of her many uncles, Machmud, the retired government minister of Egypt's railroads, hosted a most gracious luncheon for the closer relatives of the bride and groom, at Cairo's Royal Automobile Club, providing the opportunity for the families of the bridal party to meet. It was a very pleasant and cordial affair.

On Wednesday May 26th, the marriage contract - a legal document which specifies (and taxes!) the settlement terms of a potential eventual divorce - was unceremoniously signed, in a dilapidated back-street municipal office which could have been a movie set for Dusty Cairo. The event is seen by Egyptians as having no social significance, and Richard and Ishraq's family and friends' accompanying them to it was regarded as, well, quaint. Nonetheless, the couple, with full escort, were at that point legally married, and toasts were raised with bottles of Pepsi bought from a street vendor.

But in reality, from the Egyptian point of view, a marriage is deemed actually to take place not when the contract is signed, which is likened to getting a marriage license in the West, but on the occasion of the wedding party, which takes place only after the groom has secured a place for the couple to live (in the interim, which may involve a considerable amount of time, the couple lives apart, and celibately). When the wedding party does occur, it looks a lot like a western wedding reception - a very grand and ebullient one. The bride is dressed in a traditional western wedding gown, there's dinner and dancing, entertainments, a wedding cake..... just no preceding wedding ceremony (and no alcohol!).

The following day, Thursday, Richard was given his bachelor party. The celebrants gathered by the pyramids at dusk, then rode horseback into the desert to where Ezana Raswork had arranged for a barbecue to be set up, not just with food but with entertainment: Nubian musicians (who make a LOT of noise), and a pair of, er, substantial, belly dancers. After a most amusing evening there (not just because of the dancers but also the high-spirited rounds of joke-telling which followed), the group retired to a obligatorily disreputable night spot in downtown Cairo, where a beer or two was raised to memorialize Richard's bachelorhood as having completed its useful life.

Richard and Ishraq's wedding - that is, their wedding party - took place Saturday, May 29th, in the Menial Palace, a 17th century royal resort, now a hotel, in a park in downtown Cairo. For the first time, the bride's (very large) extended family met and mingled with that of the groom. Initially the atmosphere was one of correct propriety. Ishraq's relatives value her most highly, and were somewhat concerned about this young star of their family marrying a westerner, an unease which they nobly concealed in our presence. Correctness gradually gave way to the traditional Egyptian warmth when they saw we hadn't after all arrived on Harleys, wearing Stetsons and packing six-guns. What really broke the ice though was when, after dinner, Lois was pulled up onto the floor by an uncle with the bride, to participate in "Egyptian Dancing" (for "Egyptian Dancing" think Belly Dancing with the undulations toned down just a bit). Lois, being quite good at extemporaneous dancing thanks to her natural grace, ballet training and ice skating, performed both credibly and enthusiastically, getting a huge hand. At this point the atmosphere blossomed into cordiality.

No less relieved than the bride's relatives were the groom's, when the bride's family didn't turn up looking like extras from Laurence of Arabia. We may have even been a bit disappointed when they failed to thunder onto the scene on camels, cloaked in Bedouin robes and waving scimitars. The men, all western-garbed, were mostly doctors, lawyers, civil servants and engineers. Many of the women would have graced the salons of any city in the world; the others were traditionally attired and very, very retiring. All were gracious.

After the arriving attendees, sipping fruit-juice nectar "cocktails", had mingled long enough to have become acquainted, the bride and groom made their grand (and it truly was!) entrance. They arrived in a flower-bedecked carriage, drawn in stately fashion by a flower-bedecked horse, coming slowly down a long avenue of majestic, arching trees, to the assembled company. It was truly a triumphant moment, and triggered a well-deserved ovation from onlookers as the cortege passed.

The party was a big production, masterfully scripted and produced by Richard and Ishraq themselves. As well as the many traditional Egyptian wedding party events, there were non-standard western elements (eg, Richard had arranged for a string quartet rather than the more traditional folk musicians), so there was ample opportunity for glitches - delays, missed cues, sound system not working, etc.). Sue was heroic, dipping into her experience as professional restauranteur, and took charge of logistics wherever something faltered, several times working magic in forcing a derailing train back onto its track.

In one case, a traditional event in which enormous heirloom candles provided by a family matriarch were to have been featured in a tableau, the script went awry. On the spot, Sue invented and choreographed a new, instant tradition: a "Parade of Virgins", hastily recruiting a cadre of young ladies from among the guests to march through the dining room, holding aloft the matriarchal candles, providing an escort for the grand entrance of the (enormous) wedding cake. Got a big hand. Then as the cake was being ceremoniously cut on stage, it started wobbling precariously. The participants were momentary paralyzed. Action was restored and the moment spared, when Sue's not-so-sotto voce rasped out of the wings in a 100 db whisper: "Grab the f__ing cake!". One of the uncles (there are 24 blood-uncles and aunts), a delightfully charming fellow, inspired cluckings of scandal among the bride's relatives when he became demonstratively enamored of Sue, following her everywhere (inasmuch as he only had one wife, there were still three open positions).

Then there was John Toohey's saving the day for the string quartet by setting up their sound system, which had arrived with them but which no one in the group knew how to work.

After dinner and before the dancing began, diversion was provided by a Whirling Dervish. Incredible as it may seem, it is indeed possible for edge-of-your-chair theater to be created by a man doing nothing but rotating on a stage for 15 minutes, with variations introduced only via his arm motions and the odd bit of juggling.

Also memorable was the moment after the dancing began, when Sam Byrne, performing so expertly that he was being watched in amazement by all from their tables, suddenly flipped his mini-skirted partner upside down.

A particularly unforgettably touching moment came when the dance-music genre shifted from East to West, and Richard led Ishraq out onto the floor where, just the two of them before the admiring throng, they waltzed their first waltz as a married couple.

The next day was our last in Cairo. After a winding-down afternoon making our final visits to Egypt's antiquities, we all got together for a romantic felucca ride on the moonlit Nile, sailing gently between the night skylines of the city.

What a glorious event! The guests came away with a lifetime of treasured memories, and the bridal pair were truly splendidly wed, a most happy omen for their lives ahead.